SysAdmin Day

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At midnight it will happen that a server will go down
My girlfriend will be pissed; my pager's on the list.
Many clients who demand support, but pay me half a crown,
They never would be missed, it's a shame we can't resist.
All those flaky windows servers that require remote desktop
No ssh, don't breathe wrong, or the whole thing will just stop.
And that singular anomoly, the clueful sales guy,
With the PHB who doesn't think, but still will go and try
To force Oracle, Exchange on you sans technical detail
Run on windows at a speed, comparable to a snail.

We got them on the list, we've got them on the list,
None of it would be missed, yes, I am sure none would be missed.

From the entry-level server right through to the highest class
Or the new kit out from Dell, entering scsi driver hell
Better sata kit, without blobs being forced upon your ass
They never would be missed, I'd like them to not exist
There's the salesman who praises with enthusiasm so dry
The latest software gizmo that he wants you now to buy.
The person on the helpdesk who thinks that he is a tech
So that all of the requests that he makes, you always have to check.
And the simple users who more disk space never can resist
Well, their data won't be missed, I'm sure it won't be missed.

We've got them on the list, we've got them on the list
We're sure they'll not be missed, yes we are sure they'll not be missed

SAN arrays from EMC, data recovered in 4 days flat.
All shell scripting with curl, piping in and out through perl
Give thanks for BSD software, much written by de Raadt.
They'd all of them be missed, they'd all of them be missed.
With users storing data of a compromising kind,
Such as CEO and thingybob and likewise never mind
With core dumps and kernel panics, free software by you know who,
The task of debugging the blanks I'd rather leave to you
But it really doesn't matter whom we put upon the list,
For they'd all of these be missed, I'd have to go get pissed.

You could put us on your list, you could put us on your list,
But when something vital breaks, you can be sure we'd soon be missed.